2020.

 Hello my fellow potatoes.   

How are you? I hope you stayed healthy and sane in 2020. I've tried to keep myself as sane like everyone else did - but 2020 had a great impact on all of us with the addition of Covid-19 situation going on in our lives.. It was definitely tougher to go through without feeling like it has been an absolute trash year. It was for me. And if you're reading this, I'm sooo proud that we've survived 2020!! 

Be proud of yourself even if you did not manage to keep up with your resolution list - 

you've done so well and you deserve to be happy. 

My resolution for 2020 wasn't that ambitious either.. yet I did not achieve most of it. 

I must admit that I did not do well both physically and mentally in 2020. I've lost confidence in myself in a very drastic way that I believed my life would stay stagnant and I'll stay the way I do, people will keep leaving me. It took me a long time to go through that mentally and I'm proud to say, I'm doing so much better now. 

This post is a reminder for myself with the lessons I have learnt in 2020 and also to recap the happy things happened this year. More like an open diary post for myself / picture dump for memories sake. :) 

Throughout these years, I think 2020 is the year where I was the least consistent of them all these years of blogging. I really need this in order to remind myself it's okay to get lost sometimes.. And I'm trying find my track again. 

It's a super lengthy / overly shared post - you have been warned. 

Also - please don't comment on my grammar. I can't English for the moment and I shall slowly improve ;_; thanks! 

January 2020

I vividly remember that I did not start my year right. First day of the year and I was puking by the end of the day. (I hope my mom doesn't read this hahaha) and up till this date, I'm thankful that it'll never happen again because it most certainly wasn't a nice feeling and it was an unhealthy circle for me. 

Anyway everything went downhill from there.. 

Had my hair done and I absolutely loved the colour and my mom most certainly did not. It faded so fast but I really wished it stayed on for a longer time. Pretty colour but unconventional. :( As usual, had my hair done at E3 Masjid Jamek and it has been my usual go-to for two years now. 

Met up with my classmates! I think that was the second last meet up of the year. (only twice this year anyway lol) 

I always enjoy my time when it comes to meeting my classmates and I miss them so much. So glad that we meet up from time to time and we catch up about almost everything, sometimes gossip too heh heh.

Chinese New Year is always much a routine every year for me. We don't do much visitation, just meeting up the usual familiar faces and visit home. Every year we would eat at grandma's place for lunch during New Year eve and the rest is either chilling at home or napping. Not complaining, I actually enjoy it a lot.

Chinese New Year second day. 

This was my camera roll and thought this sequence was really pretty ehehe. 

Ahma enjoyed her birthday cake - which was orh nee hehehehe. 

February 2020 

First day of Feb! Erin bb and I actually went to this cafe named Tiennielicious Cafe (I had to google it just in case) 

It's a really nice cafe and their cakes are really good. I love their Earl Grey sponge cake - which we ordered here. I remember the honeycomb latte was pretty interesting.. Later on this bb got me a birthday cake from them which I enjoy it so much! 

Right after CNY, my hair colour faded into ahlian colour. Expected but YEHHHH. 

Went Tian Hou Gong with Erin bb in hopes to "ya tai sui" but they don't "ya" at all. Should've prayed there but that was when the Covid number started increasing and the temple was still crowded with people so we left. 

On the same month, I had my eyebrow embroidery done! 

Lack of sleep, probably like less than 4 hours and my mood was on FIREEEE. I remember having to drop my self esteem to a max level but once again, glad I don't have to go through that anymore. Instead, I woke up and had my brows done - it was perfect. 

I had my brows embroidery done by my friend's mom, Eda and I'm only trusting her with that. 

It's only for MYR400 - hit me up if you're interested to get yours embroidered as well. :) 

March 2020

That was the time where we started wearing masks and all of us were paranoid with touching everything because YOU would be full of virus if you were to touch anything outside at all - which was the whole point. Even when we were taking pictures here, we were paranoid in touching that pole and can't believe we were at that level that time. (I mean, look at us now.) 

By mid of March, the cases have been increasing in Malaysia until a point where everyone started getting really paranoid. Masks and sanitizers were sold out everywhere and you couldn't get any at all, even if you were to get it from someone, it was triple the usual price of masks. 

Due to the emergency lockdown announced the next day, I was told to return to main office to work since it'll be tougher to arrange after that. So many plans drastically changed overnight and honestly, I was slowly getting adjusted. It was a tough time indeed. Before moving back, had a panic buy before the lockdown and grocery stores shelves were 80% empty by the time we got there. 

It was the very first day back to the main office and it was CHAOTIC. The sudden announcement of the lockdown got everyone in full paranoia mode on and we were told to work on shifts. Up till this date, still really grateful that I work in the essential line although most of my friends work from home full time during the pandemic, we had to go to office since we are "essential". 

Plus point on that, the traffic was smooth since we were allowed to be out from home. The grocery stores were empty and everything was available. However, it wasn't something to boast about since most people thought we were out for "fun" which the only fun part was avoiding jam and having to save a lot from pumping petrol. 

I must say, thanks to the lockdown, my pancakes making skill is improving everyday and now I have the recipe stuck in my brain. If you're ever interested in making pancakes - my recipe is from Bluebell Recipe and it is FAILPROOF. 

Joined the Dalgona bandwagon as well but wasn't really into it after awhile anymore since it got my heart palpitating real bad and I got paranoid that I had Covid since it made my throat dry. Honestly, I was just caffeine overdosed lol. 

April 2020

I must say, my birthday month this year was eventful. 

I exercised every day in April! 

It was a mini goal that I attempted since we were home most of the time and we get to go home earlier during the lockdown. It was really tough to get through that since I set my goals by the end of the workout really high - to get a lean body. It wasn't something that I achieved as well because I wasn't controlling my diet and I ate whatever I want to - which includes my usual korean ramen and indomee. 

I got removed from a toxic relationship.

It's another thing I wish to document. It's my birthday month and I did not expect things to turnover that crazy as well. I was okay with lockdown getting extended on my birthday since I love being stuck at home. I've gotten the best birthday gift ever this year. 

I'm not gonna deny, I felt upset and indignant at that point of time. Like, what have I done to get treatment like this? However now, I glad to have this thorn removed after so long and I'm ready to move on. 

I was really into Just Dance 2020 and I danced most days. I was never good at dancing but for some reason this game boosted my confidence in dancing really badly since I always got high scores in every song HAHAHAHA but it was a really good workout routine to add in. 

My birthday this year was rather simple and I loved that. I went to work and came home to a cake at night. I wasn't in my best mood that day but I felt really grateful despite the pandemic, I was able to stay healthy and eat cake! 

Birthday present from Erin - Earl Grey Cheesecake by Tiennielicious

Same month, I went crazy and cut my own hair. 

The last time I had fringe was back in Form 6 - and I told myself I shall never get it again. (Obviously I ate my own words). I looked like a kid right after cutting my fringe but I absolutely loved it. XD then regret shortly after because I finally remember why I was reluctant to have bangs for almost 8 years... the constant langsir fringe + sweaty look. 

May 2020 

Month of May felt like a fresh start - and it was when the lockdown measures started to get uplifted and we were able to travel more freely interstate. I still felt betrayed and yet I was just letting my feelings heal itself. 

It was Erin's birthday and the first thing we did was to get Niko Neko @ Bangsar. MY BB HOUJICHA IS THE BEST I LOVE YOU NIKO NEKO. Alongside with the best cake ever, Lemon Curd from Jaslyn Cakes which I can't find any pictures on my camera roll but get the point, it's the best lemon curd cake ever. 

Just wanted to share this art made by my talented friend, Titus. 

Went to Ikea with Jin thinking "Oh it wouldn't be so crowded right since everyone will be staying home" BOY WAS I WRONG. The line to enter Ikea was crazy long and probably burned 300 calories just by standing out there in the sun. But I was able to get my cupboard still and had some nice lunch and dinner there. 

Had a really nice photoshoot with Erin too. Attempted to sell those clothes that we were wearing but we ended up taking pictures for Instagram feed HAHAHA 

This was the first meet up since the lockdown so we had alot to catchup. It was really fun and we KEPTTT EATINGGGGG. 

And she always take really nice pictures for me. 

June 2020

I was finally able to return home after so long! Covid is such a pain in the ass really. 

Before Covid time, I always make sure to return home at least once/twice a month, and I just love going home. I'm way luckier than my friends and my sister who are unable to return home for almost a year or two now, and it took me 4 months and I was about to go crazy. 

Finally got meet my Ling Ling in JB. 

My another babe in Muar (omg didn't realise we kantoi got Meitu watermark but wtv lah)

And my popo who was reluctant to take pic with me (same goes to my mom my dad and my ahma urgh) 

(my dogs and cat as well)

Month of June was the month where I had a LOT of hotpot as well and I had no intention to control my intake. This was when the restrictions are not so bad anymore and everyone started hanging out but I was still scared to travel.. So I stayed home on most days unless I'm out to buy groceries. 

July 2020 

I actually bought this dress from Taobao and saved it for my sister's engagement in May. 

Once again, Covid is a piece of shit and everything got cancelled - then I wore this out for a date with Erin instead! 

Wanted to document this because it was a really fulfilling day with cakes and errands then ended the day with homemade kimchi stew that I did not help to cook at all hehe. 

Puva and my favourite pan mee stall in Shah Alam. Before our office moved, we made sure to visit the stall 2-3 times because this pan mee is amazing!!! T_T Now we don't get to visit it that often anymore because it's too far from new office and aunty doesn't know how to use Food Panda. :( 

We moved! 

Obviously we weren't much of help. 

Ting Tong Tiang is our group chat name where we only talk about buying groceries LOL. 

To more silly poses together hehehe. 

Looked tired AF because I was stuck in a really bad traffic on the way to Puchong just to meet this girl! And that was the first and last meet up of the year LOL. It was a great catch up sesh and I get to meet Donut meow. 

I was having really bad migraine due to stiff neck but I really loved how the sky looked that day.

Couldn't take the pain anymore and I was having constant pain in the shoulder, neck and head till a point I was about to puke. One Spine had this promotion (not sure if it's still available) and we went for it. I instantly felt better after this chiropractic session and I highly recommend it! 

August 2020

Two hours before I had a long weekend at Lumut. It was such a chill time and I miss it so much. At that point I was feeling really tired of everything and I just needed an escape. 

Cafe hopping with Erin! This is the legendary DouDou that we waited for an hour to get seated.

I'm glad we didn't have to wait for three hours. :')

Super love this picture because Lala looks startled to be carried by popo, as always. :) 

Finally had my hair done and I was so afraid to go home right after this LOLOL 

Done at E3 Masjid Jamek as well! 

Prettiest sky I've seen this year. 

I was at the gym with Erin and saw this. It was such an amazing view and instantly felt better after that. 

Of course we had to stop working out just to take a picture because moments like this don't often come by. :) 

Ahma finally trusted my driving skills and allowed me to drive her to pasar pagi.. then months later I realised I actually forgot to renew my car licence sksksksksksks please don't tell my ahma. 

Two cuties at the condo I'm living at. I wish to kidnap them home. 

Finally met my gurl after 5 months. I had to move back to main office suddenly and she was in tears. - but it was because she's a crybaby and she shall kill me when she read this :p It was a really really short meet up just to get my cookies and dropped me off at TBS. 

I actually loved it when my hair looked like this but I kinda miss my long hair now as well. 

My second manicure session ever and I enjoyed it so much. Made my friend Zuguan wait for me while I get my nails done! If only manicure lasts forever and not chapped after like 2 weeks *rolls eyes*

However, no regrets to this because I felt really happy that I pampered myself with this. 

September 2020 

We woke up at 7am just to dapao DouDou for picnic. Even 7.30 there was a line to get in. :')

2020 is really a year that we went all out on being extra. XD

No picture with Gap Fai, only the dinner I had. 

We had a really nice photoshoot and I'm too lazy to get that pictures here. It was a really great catchup session too! 

Went Hai Di Lao with only one purpose - to hoard all the taufufa I could. 

Then we had to eat zhapfan which I totally love. Plus the price is RM5.20 every time I visit. 

Second and last meet up of the year with the classmates. 

Right after that, cases in Sabah increased rapidly then Selangor, follow by other states. :( 

23rd September 2020 

Tarzan left us. 

I brought him back when I was 14 because he was biting my slippers and didn't want to let go. 

Blink of an eye, 11 years have passed. He left peacefully after struggling for months due to his old age. 

October 2020

The month Erin moved in and the month that we discovered oat pancakes and also Nescafe Gold with milk. The cases started rising rapidly and we were both summoned to work from home. I should've counted the number of pancakes we consumed throughout the month. 

After residing there for almost two years, we've finally discovered the way to enter the lakes behind the condo. 

I took a day leave that day. We had pan mee and bought some cakes from Gula Cakery for this set up. It was a really impromptu extra thing but we both enjoyed it. :p The sunset was lovely that day as well. 

I swear I wore shorts that day. 

Another one of my favourite extra shoot with Erin. We baked our bento cake thinking it almost failed but thank goodness it was a SUCCESS!!!! It was raining and we weren't at our best mood to baked but we did it anyway - we made a whole lot of mess but the cake was really good. *pats self at the back*

November 2020

On the very first of November, ahma fell down and I only learn about it the next day. It broke my heart and I couldn't stop crying because I wasn't there for her and she didn't want to tell us about it as well. She, on the other hand, is so strong and discharged from hospital the day after although she still had trouble walking. 

She'd probably kill me if she sees this post but I just want to document this. 

I was really really sad but I'm thankful that I was able to video call her and see her even though I was unable to travel down at that point of time. Two weeks after, my aunty fell sick and got hospitalized as well. 

Cases continued to increase in November and we weren't allowed to travel from one state to another. At that point I was devastated and my mind was out of place. I felt useless since I wasn't able to be home when my family needed me. All I did was getting myself indulged in Animal Crossing and Netflix series as well as some workout routine whenever I feel like it. 

By the end of November, I've requested to go home back to Johor and it was approved. I was able to return home to visit. I'm so thankful that everyone is doing pretty fine now. 

December 2020 

 

However, I'm so glad to be home and knowing that my family is healthy and well now. 

Just grandma and aunty sunbathing. 

Also, just ahma instructing me to cut off the dry leaves and the ugly stems off her plants. >__>

To be brutally honest, December was the toughest month for me. 

To me, everything fell apart for a moment and I couldn't take the pain. I was dealing with my emotions and I blamed people around me for what I was feeling. Being home was the best for me to recuperate my emotions since I wasn't doing so well in KL anymore. 

I broke down in tears countless time in the month of December. I felt useless, my life wasn't going anywhere, everything was falling apart.. blablabla and the roommate in my brain starts repeating the same negativity over and over again. That's when I told myself I need to take a picture of this moment. 

I will get better. This is not how I'm going to end up living in. 

I've went through this before and I'm gonna get through this again. 

For the month of December, I told myself since I'm going to be home most of the time - I gotta make the most out of it. This is the proudest moment I'm bringing into 2021 - exercising everyday! There's no significant weight loss on my body yet but I've slowly gained my confidence and my emotions with the consistency I tried to pull through. 

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If you finished reading this blog post - thank you for reading this. I appreciate that you took your time to read my open diary and realise I'm mostly a pool of emotions.

Howeverrrrrrrrrr-

To end this post, I would like to end it with a list of what I'm thankful for :-

Staying sober and healthy. 

Family and friends being healthy and safe. 

Exercise streak that I'm bringing in to the new year. 

A change in my career soon. 

Taylor Swift's new albums in 2020, folklore and evermore. I'm not even joking. 

Giving proper closure to the people I owed - and cutting off ties with toxic people.

A new support system that's going to last for a long long time. 

... and the list goes on but my brain can't brain anymore. 

Writing this post made me realise that 2020 wasn't so bad after all. I had really nice memories and I wish that I've written more in my schedule book and taken more pictures to reminisce back in the future.. But as for now, this shall suffice. 

Very very very last note, I apologise to anyone that I've treated badly over this/ past years (i really won't know), so let's talk and end this year on a good note. :) 

Happy 2021, stay safe and stay healthy. 

Till then,

Edlyn.