Not the usual kind of blog post.

Thursday, 8 December 2016

This is the time when I have so many things that I would love to voice out - After attempting to let it die down in my mind for so long but hey, what is blog for? Hahahahaha #kayskidding It's been years I would say, since I've written something personal for my blog. This totally differs to what I usually post - reviews and places I go. 

It's not a day or two that I feel judged physically and mentally - From how I look to how i talk to others. How I walk, how i stand, how i approach people, how I suck at doing assignment, how I just don't do well in anything, even the way I eat and how I hunchback alot. (that's the fact guys, i walk like a potato) 
I won't deny that it bothers me alot at first knowing how people would think of how I am then befriends me and tells me my bad points instead of good. Though I'm thankful how certain people always remind me of my values, you know who you are!

And then also comes to people that judges you without knowing what you feel, just by looking at you in general then stamps a "FAIL" right at your face to be their friend, and that's when the hate grows. I wouldn't say I'm the best person of all in the world, but being nice and kind is what I opt to do even when I've learnt how someone hates me but doesn't show, doesn't mean I don't know. Some people stabs you at the back even if you don't know why? Though yes I love people that loves me back. Vice versa. 

Most of the time I wish people would just stop hating first being knowing what the other thinks, try to know someone before judging. If you don't, let it be. You may see a face full of makeup looking perfect doesn't mean she's hiding any pain inside. You've got no idea. People with makeup or not, everyone is judged. Even me typing this, I AM judging too sorry ;_; #facepalmtoself 

One reason why I apologize so much even though sometimes I would feel that I shouldn't, it's not my fault, why should I? *rage and flips everything* Sometimes I just couldn't contain myself but do feel pretty shitty about myself and be overthinking what people think of me, then there goes anxiety and me feeling like I've got no one here for me. And then there's people that would be talking sweet shits right at your face, and then pokes you with insults right at the back then makes it obvious at times just to make you feel bad. 

Truth is, everyone is more worthy than what they feel they are. People be hating, you keep rolling. ;D Now I've come to believe that I'm more worthy than what people think about me. Whether it's me having fat thighs, I'm bad at makeup, I'm bad at studies and I suck at editing. But as long as you're trying, you're worthy of being better. So I guess this is where I say thank you to people that have been pointing out my flaws, directly or not. Life is too short to hate people :')

I'm even way thankful for those that has been here encouraging me, someone that has been there commenting on my rages then I get even more agitated then I came to realised that I shouldn't be feeling that way, I'm more worthy than all these I'm feeling. I shall be strong. 

Practise what you preach;
"Be kind to one another."

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