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Thursday, 8 December 2016

Not the usual kind of blog post.

This is the time when I have so many things that I would love to voice out - After attempting to let it die down in my mind for so long but hey, what is blog for? Hahahahaha #kayskidding It's been years I would say, since I've written something personal for my blog. This totally differs to what I usually post - reviews and places I go. 

It's not a day or two that I feel judged physically and mentally - From how I look to how i talk to others. How I walk, how i stand, how i approach people, how I suck at doing assignment, how I just don't do well in anything, even the way I eat and how I hunchback alot. (that's the fact guys, i walk like a potato) 
I won't deny that it bothers me alot at first knowing how people would think of how I am then befriends me and tells me my bad points instead of good. Though I'm thankful how certain people always remind me of my values, you know who you are!

And then also comes to people that judges you without knowing what you feel, just by looking at you in general then stamps a "FAIL" right at your face to be their friend, and that's when the hate grows. I wouldn't say I'm the best person of all in the world, but being nice and kind is what I opt to do even when I've learnt how someone hates me but doesn't show, doesn't mean I don't know. Some people stabs you at the back even if you don't know why? Though yes I love people that loves me back. Vice versa. 

Most of the time I wish people would just stop hating first being knowing what the other thinks, try to know someone before judging. If you don't, let it be. You may see a face full of makeup looking perfect doesn't mean she's hiding any pain inside. You've got no idea. People with makeup or not, everyone is judged. Even me typing this, I AM judging too sorry ;_; #facepalmtoself 

One reason why I apologize so much even though sometimes I would feel that I shouldn't, it's not my fault, why should I? *rage and flips everything* Sometimes I just couldn't contain myself but do feel pretty shitty about myself and be overthinking what people think of me, then there goes anxiety and me feeling like I've got no one here for me. And then there's people that would be talking sweet shits right at your face, and then pokes you with insults right at the back then makes it obvious at times just to make you feel bad. 

Truth is, everyone is more worthy than what they feel they are. People be hating, you keep rolling. ;D Now I've come to believe that I'm more worthy than what people think about me. Whether it's me having fat thighs, I'm bad at makeup, I'm bad at studies and I suck at editing. But as long as you're trying, you're worthy of being better. So I guess this is where I say thank you to people that have been pointing out my flaws, directly or not. Life is too short to hate people :')

I'm even way thankful for those that has been here encouraging me, someone that has been there commenting on my rages then I get even more agitated then I came to realised that I shouldn't be feeling that way, I'm more worthy than all these I'm feeling. I shall be strong. 

Practise what you preach;
"Be kind to one another."


  1. Everyone judges nowadays I think. It's the society kind of thing. Even I myself do judge people alot, a whole damn lot, especially when I sit at garden's Starbucks observing people. I think judging is good, as we all humans know, no one is perfect, but judging improves our knowledge of people, it's important when it comes to business venture next time. Knowing what's the trend, what's the attitude of customers in a area. But in the end of the day, as u say, be nice yea. As long as we don't spread lies about others, don't bad mouth someone it's ok. Keep it to ourselves or maybe share with siblings. Everyone suck at one point in life, when we suck, we find ways to improve, we won't suck forever. That's a human nature. As u said, life is too short to hate others. Peace :)

    1. Yes, it's normal to judge like I said even I do so when I'm writing this making me no different than others too. You're right to share with only yourself or maybe someone you trust as long we don't spread lies and bad mouth people, I totally agree with you! Thank you so much for your advice David. :)

  2. I'm somewhat have the same situation of yours where people usually judge things on what they see and it's mostly negative too. For me, i practice not to judge people on the first and eventually, i don't really care anymore who judge me. I have bad assignments, untidy appearance, and my things are always weaker and worse than my friends, but everybody is a genius. One of the quote said before, if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid. I wanted my life to be as good as people and i end up comparing my life to others. That's when i know i made a mistake in my life. Now i'm just striving to improve myself and don't even care what people thinks.

    Raging and hating is a feeling. How you react is another. Butters Scotch, which is one of a character in South Park said "Well yeah, and I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin' really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good, so I guess what I'm feelin' is like a, beautiful sadness." The way you react on something affects your feeling. There are always ups and downs in life. Of course i was a depression survivor and now i allow and schedule myself once a month to cry it all out and have a breakdown because if you dont, you might get crazy.

    I agree with David that don't have a bad mouth. Because when you have bad mouth, you're creating seed of hates. What i've learn is that how people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours. Sometimes you might think "she/he never helped me before when i'm in hard times, why should i help?" Helping is good, don't expect things when you help because that will be "motive" not "helping". But of course you don't help people to shift the house and end up it was a robbery. Life is short so live your life to the fullest and be happy, always. :D